…as when someone goes for a fist bump instead of a handshake? now we have to spend like three damn seconds playing a game of “who’s the alpha” while i try to accommodate what you want and vice verse-a.
fine whatever, it’s not like i’ve never fisted a relative stranger before, but i thought we settled this hundreds of years ago. now i have to awkwardly re-contort my hand because you had to re-write a commonality most of humanity had with one another. IT’S FINE, we have PLENTY of universal commonalities, we can afford to fuck that one up.
you know what, i’m being unfair to the bump crowd. bumping is more hygienic, i suppose. we all need a reset, a UNIVERSAL RESET, starting after you read this post. we’re all gonna stop shaking and bumping and we’re gonna let the coolest guy on earth PAUL RUDD decide whether we’re shakers or bumpers. WHATEVER HE SAYS GOES.
pete n' tony's internet adventure 