“An Essay Concerning the Fallacies of Monotheism” (or, “Why I Hate Pubes”)

the biggest argument i hear against evolution is ‘intelligent design’. like, there’s no way that the human body, in all its’ intricacies, could’ve been developed by chance. or, you know, THOUSANDS of YEARS of fine tuning and slightly meaningful deaths of our ancestors.

but yeah, when i clip my fingernails a little too far back and that little bit of underfinger blood comes out, i can feel it thanks to god? or when my brain goes, ‘shit i’m gonna have to deal with this underfinger sting for a couple days at least,’ that couldn’t possibly be anything less than intelligent creation with direct purpose?

is it so crazy to think that, with our tiny brains and intelligence, maybe we can’t fully comprehend the amount of time and patience the human body took to evolve? let’s not simplify it to capital G god. because if GOD were really designing our bodies, and he LOVES  us, why the FUCK would he make it so I HAVE TO TRIM MY STUPID PUBES EVERY THREE WEEKS, WHAT’S YOUR GAME GOD? TELL ME THE PUNCHLINE TO THIS SICK JOKE.

which is really my main point here, god if you’re out there, show me you exist — stop my pubes from growing ever again. i’m so tired of nicking my ballsack, god.