some old haikus i wrote

if you’re unfamiliar with haikus, they’re an ancient japanese spell that causes anyone within hearing distance to immediately start counting on their fingers. nowadays, white people write haikus to appear more culturally diverse to others via the wonders of mild cultural appropriation. so without further a due, here is a white person writing haikus.

#1
i wish i could fly
i would levitate real low
my feet wouldn’t hurt

#2
what if when you shit
your butt was never dirty
no buying t.p.

#3
use your turn signals
you stupid fucking asshole
i almost hit you

#4
there isn’t much time
i can explain on the way
my penis is stuck

#5
some procreation
needs to be made illegal
for stupid people

#6
sometimes i wonder
what gary busey has done
in the quiet nights