before we begin, let me just say that THIS IS NOT a rant about how everyone seemingly has anxiety nowadays (although i would venture to say that y’all need nihilism more than jesus, get yer fuckin’ life in perspective people, fuck). but i need you to position yourself so you can see yourself in a reflective surface when you read this. and IF and/OR WHEN this post applies to you, i need you to look at yourself in said surface and say out loud, “i’m a twat”.
now that you’re within mirror distance, let’s move on. so what is it with every dumbass who is even slightly organized identifying as OCD? organized desktop on your work computer? “oh hee hee i’m so OCD.” put your shopping cart in the corral in the parking lot? “sorry, i’m just so OCD ha ha.” you have NO IDEA WHAT OCD IS.
and i know what you’re thinking, oh shit, peter do you have OCD? NO i fucking don’t but i CAN use google and don’t use hyperbole to excuse my cleanliness to acquaintances by pretending to have a life-altering disorder. yeah, maybe me defending OCD is akin to mansplaining or a white guy getting pissed that IT’S 2019 AND WE STILL HAVE PROFESSIONAL SPORTS TEAMS CALLED THE INDIANS AND THE FUCKING REDSKINS, but it pisses me off so here i go competing in the 100m Rant in the Angry Olympics.
anyway, this isn’t really a fun rant like we usually share. i’ll get back to fun rants the next time someone almost kills me while driving. so yeah, give me about three hours.
pete n' tony's internet adventure 