flan. people eat this terrifing dessert like its not a gelatinous puddle that you’d find in a pothole in denver. someone presumably found the aliens from invasion of the bodysnatchers and baked the slime with some pumpkin or some shit to make it look like other, actually edible deserts. how people enjoy this shit is beyond me. how we haven’t made flan illegal yet is beyond me.
they can’t even bother to spell it like it sounds. flon sounds like a noise that an ET-type alien would make in another godforsaken paint by numbers stephen spielburg family fuckfest movie, and then the kids would name the cute little slime “flan” but pronounce it flonn because they spell like idiot kids. and then the mom would find flan and scream and hide in terror but the kids, finally outed, would explain to their mom that they found flan in a pothole in denver while riding their product placement bikes, and that its harmless and can do a fun trick, like squirting flan juice down the back of your throat or some shit.
then the mom falls in love with flan and helps the kids hide the flan from the FBI when they show up inexplicably. but the mom hides flan in the oven and accidentally cooks flan. and now i’m forced to try some when people come over and bring this bullshit like it’s acceptable party food. have you people heard of brownies? everyone likes brownies, and they don’t sit in a puddle of their own alien juices either. fuck outta here.
pete n' tony's internet adventure 