0: this is off. in southern california this is where my wipers remain for 98.65% of the year until the desert sun melts them and they become one with my windshield.
1 click: this is for light rain, aka drizzle (fun fact: also a word invented and patented by snoop dogg). the wipers will “make an appearance” like you did at your coworker’s birthday party before dipping out early and getting on with your life. it will then check in same time next year, never really doing its job but i guess they’re trying.
2 clicks: we now go live to our weatherman on the ground. chad, how are we looking out there?
OH TODD WE’RE FUCKED AS ALL HELL OUT HERE, SHIT IS FUCKED. THESE CATS AND DOGS ARE BLOWING SIDEWAYS AND FUCKING EACH OTHER ON THE WAY DOWN FROM THE CLOUDS. IF YOU HAVE A HOME THAT SITS ON GROUND, PUT YOUR KIDS IN THE HAMPER AND GET TO PADDLING ‘CAUSE SOLID EARTH IS BUT A MEMORY IN WATERWORLD. BACK TO YOU TODD.
thanks chad.
3 CLICKS: DESIGNED TO CLEAR WATER FROM YOUR WINDSHIELD IN THE EVENT THAT YOU DRIVE INTO A WAVE POOL AT YOUR LOCAL WATERPARK.
4 CLICKS: BREAKS YOUR WINDSHIELD IMMEDIATELY.
pete n' tony's internet adventure 