do you think if the roman empire had online fillable forms that required you to fill in your country, that they’d put the “aaron republic of aarons” at the top of the dropdown menu? FUCK OFF, they’d put “the goddamn roman empire” at the top of the list because they’re the fucking shit and they know it. so why is it that when i’m filling out shit on this website of my very specifically california institution of higher education, i go to fill out my country and goddamn afganistan is the first choice?
you really think i have time to scroll all the way down to the “U’s” to find the united states of america? don’t fucking fuck me like this, university. i’m trying to fill out this form so i can pay almost THREE-HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS FOR A SEMESTER OF PARKING and you wanna TEST me like that? fuck you, I’M from afganistan now. i’m wasting four seconds scrolling through countries that i honestly don’t even think exist. a country called “chad”? that’s not real.
now you’re probably thinking, “wait, i know you peter and you only love two things: inclusivity, and a well-documented, alphabetically ordered list”. well guess what fuckstick, i guess you don’t know me then. if i hadn’t dumped thousands of dollars into this university already, i would quit out of protest. and you know what the worst part is? there’s probably one fucking student at my university who’s actually from afganistan and has a car that they need to register for a parking permit, and i don’t even get to see the joy on their face when they go to fill out their billing address and their home nation of “afganistan” is the first available coutnry for selection. show me that joy, and MAYBE i’ll stop yelling.
pete n' tony's internet adventure 