yeah, i’ll follow just about anyone. but that doesn’t mean i’m not blocking your ass from my feed if you abuse your connection to my beautiful, pure attention span. attention is currency in modern day society, that’s why this blog is designed to be flawlessly entertaining.
HOWEVER if you’re an anarchist, of course i can help. look who you’re talkin’ to, come on. so for some reason, if you want me to block you harder than a lego being shot from a crossbow at your forehead, here’s a helpful handy guide to pissing me off on social media.
- post exclusively selfies: i know what the fuck you look like. if the only thing you post are selfies, i have to question if you have the proper ratio of wall space to mirror in your home. or maybe you just need to hire a person to hug you 24/7? either way, it’s not my fucking problem.
- your instagram story looks like:
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – - you post each photo from your 250 travel photos individually instead of using the multi-photo function: you know, i’m not even entirely mad about this one. i respect the commitment to total warfare that you’ve declared upon my once harmonious and balanced feed. your commitment to anarchy is admirable, but everyone older than a 16-year old libertarian knows that anarchy isn’t a sustainable societal model. now i’m banning you so hard, google will send a car to street view your block.
- use the word “influencer”: shut the fuck up.
pete n' tony's internet adventure 