page 1: our story begins as you step out to head to work. you kick your dog goodbye and shut the door behind you. as you turn towards your fiat, you see your neighbor jogging by who you’ve kind of talked to once or twice before. do you say:
(“run forest, run!” in a stupid ssouthern accent) – turn to page 37
(nothing, just wave) – turn to page 20
page 33: you’re walking through the grocery store and you see a very tall man walking down the aisle towards you. you have only moments to think of something extremely witty and original before this freak passes by you forever. do you say:
(“how’s the weather up there? hurr hurr”) – turn to page 41
(“do you play basketball??”) – turn to page 97
(nothing, just smile at them because they’re a human person and not a setup for your improv comedy) – turn to page 20
page 17: you’re driving home from work after a long shift. you approach an intersection where you’ll have to make a right-hand turn to get home. do you:
(turn on your right turn signal so other people who exist outside of yourself know your intent and can plan accordingly) – turn to page 20
(wait until the last second before your turn before slamming on your brakes and slowly turning onto the next street, completely forgetting that other people exist behind you and would probably like to know that you’re about to go from 40mph to approximately 3mph right in front of them and their families, who are also traveling at about 40 mph?) – turn to page 1192
page 20: congratulations, you are a normal, functioning human adult. you probably won’t read this page beccause apparently its really hard to get to? author’s note: fuck all of you.
pete n' tony's internet adventure 