change.org petition: make geico stop

never before has a marketing department combined such a penchant for idiotic, inane, nonsensical, obnoxious, asinine commercials with an inexplicable sustainability that has lasted for actual decades. actual fucking decades. geico has been shitting out its early 2000s youtube style ‘ha ha so random lol’ humor for fucking decades. and the worst part is, it’s actually worked, because yes i am insured by geico.

let me ask you: who is geico’s mascot, the face of their brand? is it the australian gecko that’s been plaguing households for ages? is it the cavemen that were so fucking goddamn hilarious that they necessitated a sitcom spinoff? is it the two guys with a completely unnecessary guitar and banjo who explain the joke to the viewer? is it dikembe mutombo? if you can’t really decide, then we’re on the same page. and for the record, geico’s marketing team can’t decide either, that’s why they just shit out whatever randum lulz the new intern drops into the suggestion box.

for reference, let’s look at progressive: flo, the extremely goddam annoying (but consistent) insurance rep. state farm is aaron fucking rodgers but they’re trying to replace him with some other QB, just like green bay is literally doing this offseason. somehow, farmer’s insurance landed world-class actor JK simmons to be the face of their company. i’m still trying to figure that one out. but all of these companies are professional, focused, and mature in their levity, even if the jokes don’t always land (looking at you, progressive, you’re next to be cancelled for your shitty fucking jokes i swear to god)

and then there’s geico.

cavemen. screaming squirrels. pinocchio puppet. incredulous gecko. basketball player in a grocery store. hump day camel. there are so many more but i’m getting angry having to google these.

i’m honestly considering paying 15% or more on car insurance just so i don’t have to live with myself and the knowledge that i financially support this stupid fucking degradation of society. in the meantime, i’ll just keep doing my part and stomping any geckos i come across.